In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize