Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
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