I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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