Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
