8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
