last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
