Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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