either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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