haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
