the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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