She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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