Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
