so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Damn victory sex feels great
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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