the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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