I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
