We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
