Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
