why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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