this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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