We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
