hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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