i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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