AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
