i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
