I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize