he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
