oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
