Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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