sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
