My underwear smells like fireworks.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
