you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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