Buhtt sex?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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