ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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