Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
