Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Someone shattered a urinal.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
