...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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