My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
