I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
