I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize