Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
