just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Swine flu is the new snow day.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
