um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
