I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
