WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
