So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
