a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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