I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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