How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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