In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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