I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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