My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
