At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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