We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
