The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
