btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
