A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
