If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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