I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
