i just had sex bonerless
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
