just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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